Losing It...

I have this THING about losing THINGS. I don't know where it comes from, really. Well, I guess I kind of do but we'll talk more about that later.
For now, let's talk about today.

While I was preparing to get dinner ready for my family, I realized I'd misplaced my phone. As you know, like most of us, cell phones these days are pretty near and dear to us. They store, well...our lives.

Also, as many of us experience from time to time, I felt as though my heart would nearly pound right out of my chest as I thought about the possibility of never finding it. Now, honestly, in reality...is it really the end of the world if I never find it again? No.
But, my mind tends to race and take over in times like these...similar to a train wreck in the mind.

Today actually seemed to be filled with "moments of loss", as I've so affectionately named them. They are those times when you experience temporary insanity as a result of some random misplaced item or belonging.

This morning when I logged on to my computer to take care of some things online, I realized that I couldn't log into an account that I have had for years. I have never needed to access this account with my password since I always login from the same computer and asked it to save my info. Well, I cleared out all of the cookies, browsing history, etc. on my laptop a few weeks back and for the first time, I needed to log in.

I literally almost had an anxiety attack after one failed attempt followed another. The account was linked to an old email address that I no longer have access to which meant that I couldn't even have the username or password reset. At that point, I'd lost it on the inside.

I finally realized that my frustration, anxiety, worry was all founded and based on something completely opposite of the truth. A lie.

I don't know if you ever deal with this, but for this post {and well, I guess like most of my others}...I'm keeping it real.

I know it may seem a bit crazy, but sometimes the most simple of situations turn into dramatic meltdowns for me-internally. I've learned to do that as an adult. No one can see my meltdowns. That keeps me safe. That keeps me REAL.

As I talked myself down, I began to hear the Holy Spirit ask me, "Is losing really such a bad thing?" "What happens when you lose?"

Then...it came. The Word.

He that finds his life shall lose it: and he that loses his life for my sake shall find it. Matthew 10:39

Now, I know that this scripture isn't talking about losing passwords to online accounts or misplaced phones. I do believe, however, that God can and will use our everyday situations and life to bring about healing and change, even if it's through a lost password, keys, cell phone...you name it.

I realized this totally pushed a core fear button for me. It really came down to the fact that when I lose, I sense a LOSS of control. This, unfortunately, is yet another lie. Truth is, I'm not really in control anyhow. I mean, sure...I decide when I put my shoes on, take them off, brush my teeth, drive my car...but I gave up control of my life years ago. On purpose. To Him. And that's just the way I like it.

I want Him...Jesus, all up in MY STUFF. ALL UP IN MY BUSINESS. Controlling things...and losing my life along the way to gain the ultimate destiny, purpose, and future He has planned for me and for my family.

So, what's the lie that got trampled by truth today? That "losing it" is a bad thing...you see, when you lose for Him...you really win.

Be a loser.

Getting lost and truly winning,


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